Emotional
by Stitchar
Summary: Perceptor lost someone in the past and erased something away from his existence. Years went by and he visited a certain bot who told him that erasing something away is not a solution of healing. TFA post Season 3 One-Shot


"I got promoted." was the only sentence that brought Perceptor back into the reality. He hesitantly looked back, to face the white mech before him-the mech he cared so much about.

"Promoted...?" was all he asked. The white mech nodded his helm hesitantly as he walked closer to the small mech. The white mech was tall, leaving Perceptor to reach up to his abdomen area where both chest and hip were connected.

"Yeah," the white mech answered, "to the Ultra Prime's group."

Perceptor felt his spark stop. He doesn't mean-!

"You're going to Hydrax Plateau aren't you." It wasn't a question, but the white mech had sensed the sadness course through the sentence and his mouth went to thin line.

"They needed more soldiers to cover the area." he replied, "There's a saying that Decepticons are planning to attack the base."

"But why does it have to be you?" Perceptor asked, looking back at the white mech. The white mech smiled a little bit-as if trying to comfort the young scientist.

"I was trained under by Yoketron, so they do need a lot of his students to fight against the Decepticons at the Plateau."

Perceptor didn't say anything more, but looked down as if he knew what was coming next

"I can't believe you're leaving." was his only statement as he turned around and looked at the equation he was working on, "Hydrax is so far away."

"Don't worry," the white mech assured him, "I'll be back before you knew it."

"Promise?" Perceptor asked as he looked up at the white mech, "Promise me that you're coming back after the battle?"

"I'll promise." The white mech chuckled as he patted the scientist's helm, "But I can't promise you when I get hurt!"

"Just be careful alright?" Perceptor replied as he looked the white mech, hoping this won't be the last to see him.

The white mech only smiled.

-.-

"Everyones gone." was the only thing Perceptor had heard from the medic when he came back from the battered Plateau, "Exterminated."

"I...see." Ultra Prime answered, gripping on his hammer to control his emotion, "not a single soul was spared from this bloodied battle."

Perceptor felt like he was going to faint-nobody had survived-except for one Decepticon from the battle.

The medic, Rachet-as he was later called, handed a small handgun to both Wheeljack and Perceptor.

"This is a cure for the Cosmic Rust-it's best to make more batch of these in case of emergencies."

Wheeljack, his science partner, nodded his helm in agreement as he dragged Perceptor back in the lab to analyze the cure more. Perceptor, however wasn't paying attention. His mind was swirling with emotions and questions.

_'whywhywhy?'_ he thought to himself, _'You promised me you'll be back! You promised!'_

His spark thumped in pain as it was filled with sorrow and agony as he tried to focus on what was laid before him, but no matter what-the sadness would not cease. He had suffered with it for a long while, unable to finish the required equipments for the Autobots.

Perceptor looked down at the unfinished projects and felt his spark throb in pain once more. He hated this feeling. It only pained him and he hated so much he wanted it to be gone. Gone from his spark, gone from his memories, gone from his goals to help the Autobot's cause!

Gone...?

-.-

"You want me to do _what?_"

"Please! Wheeljack, it's my only way to help myself!"

"No!" Wheeljack growled, swiping his open servo with a gesture of wiping the plea away, "I cannot risk on anything by taking something out from a Cybertronian processor grid! It will surely cause nothing but a huge meltdown and possibly glitch your sensors!"

"But I don't want to suffer anymore!" Perceptor screamed, "we lost too many Wheeljack; mechs, femmes, younglings that are barely in adulthood-we even lost Youth Sector from blasted Decepticons! Pit-I even lost _HIM!_"

"Perceptor..." Wheeljack whispered, knowing of his intent, "you want me to erase your emotions."

It wasn't a question, but Perceptor nodded his helm. Wheeljack cursed and slammed his servo on the table by Perceptor's choice.

"Perceptor!" He growled, "We are not risking ourselves to erase the emotion! We may have created the machine that can take the emotion sensors away, but we did not tested it and we can't be sure if it's safe for you to do it!"

"Please!" Perceptor pleaded, "At least think of it Wheeljack, I have suffered too much pain and it is getting in the way of helping the Autobots cause. If you can erase this emotion-maybe I can push the tides in the war."

Wheeljack stood in his spot, leaving nothing but silence with quite hum of the room they were in. Perceptor watched him as he debated on whether to risk the test or not.

Then, Wheeljack sighed.

"You win," He answered, "but you will soon regret it."

-.-

It had been years now even after the war and when the return of the rumored missing repair crew was known through Cyberteon-everyone celebrated for the incoming peace and the end of the Decepticon. They awed at the large captured Decepticon leader, all scratched and injured from the long battle that took place in the foreign planet called Earth.

After transporting the prisoners into barracks-the ceremony had quickly started as it was hosted by the Council who would be giving out the medals to the repair crew that had rumored to be gone 50 stellar cycles ago.

Perceptor was there when the ceremony started and studied at the four bots that were being praised by the Council (him included).

The first bot was Optimus Prime-a wash out from the academy, Ratchet-his old colleague from Great War, Bulkhead-Energon farmer and former bootcamp trainee and finally Bumblebee-the smallest and youngest of the group.

Perceptor looked at the yellow bot in interest. Bumblebee wasn't usually cheerful as he was known by the description from both Sentinel and his Elite Guards. He hadn't met Bumblebee personally, but he can tell that the yellow bot wasn't 'there'.

Bumblebee wasn't smiling as he usually was, but he forced a smile throughout the ceremony and Perceptor can tell that his smile was fake.

Perceptor can tell that Bumblebee was in pain.

And he knew what the cause of the problem was.

-.-

The Memorial Building was quiet, with devoid of life and barely any visitor except for one who was standing next to the recent addition to the building. Yellow armor shined from the lack of lighting the building had as the visitor itself looked down at the body that was grey and lying dead.

"Hey Prowl," Bumblebee greeted after few minutes of silence, "Sorry your resting place isn't on Earth, but the Council wanted you to be here as an honorable soldier who had fought against the Decepticons after war and in Earth. Maybe next time when the Cybertron had forgotten about your resting place, then maybe I can move you back to Earth where your tree is at. Sounds like a deal right?"

"Talking to a dead won't bring him back."

Bumblebee nearly jumped and whirled around to see who dared to sneak up on him when he's having a small private talk to Prowl. He visually relaxed when he saw the familiar unemotional scientist walking through the dimmed light of the building.

"Perceptor." Bumblebee replied not in a greeting way, but more in a statement, "Fancy to see you here."

Perceptor said nothing and Bumblebee turned back at his deceased friend again, not wanting to see the cold-sparked scientist. Even not wanting to know why he was here in the first place.

"You and him were close."

Perceptor waited for Bumblebee's response, but when he got nothing-he decided to take it as an answer and continued.

"Both of you were close. Very close, but when he sacrificed himself, he took something away from you. Part of you, to the point where you suffer deeply and greatly than your other teammates. You begin to question on why he had sacrificed himself and leave you alone in the world-defensless. You wanted this emotion gone, but couldn't as the only thing you can do is lie to your comrades and just smile away when inside you're being torn apart."

Perceptor paused as he looked at the young, yellow bot who stood motionless but the grip he had on his fist clenched tightly as Perceptor had hit the situation Bumblebee was in was spot on.

"I can give you a relief." Perceptor replied, breaking the silence that waft through the memorial building, "A sense of relief where-"

"No."

Perceptor's optics flickered at the sudden answer he had received from the yellow scout. The answer was so foreign to him. He had never been refused once before.

"Excuse me?" Bumblebee turned around to look at the famous, unemotional scientist and shook his head.

"If you're going to promote me on erasing the emotions, I would have to refuse to that."

Perceptor was surprised that the yellow scout was straight forward on his answer, but he was curious after all-this is Bumblebee he was talking about.

"Why...?" he asked, wanting to know the reason behind it, "Why do you wish to keep it when it cause you nothing, but pain?"

"Yeah, it makes me feel like slag," Bumblebee replied, as he looked down at Prowl, "but it also helps me to learn something."

Emotions helps you learn something? Seemed illogical.

"It helps me learn that Prowl won't come back and it's only up for me and the time itself to help me heal." Bumblebee continued "It also helps me that I can never forget him, but to move on from the life."

"But dwelling in the past is one of the failures of having the emotions."

"Yeah, I know," Bumblebee frowned as he thought back in the life before the end, "but it tells me the fun I had with the one who was long gone and I can always look back whenever I need a simple comfort."

Perceptor took that answer to study more, but now that he said it...when was the last time he saw Him?

"I don't know what had caused you to lose emotions-other than the 'research' purpose slag," Bumblebee replied as he took a step back from the coffin, heading outside of the building, "but no matter what-we need them to survive, overcome and move on. Optimus did, Rachet did, Bulkhead did-Pit, even Sari and Prowl did. Emotions is something we can't get rid of when what makes us alive."

With that, Bumblebee disappeared through the door and into the large crowd, never to be seen again, leaving the scientist to ponder on the answer he had received.

-.-

All is quiet in the memorial building, not a single life was evident through the hall, but one who simply walked through the hallway to ponder-and find the one he had yet to meet.

Perceptor lost count to the various coffins that shows the past warriors who had fought in the war-he even lost count of stellar cycles of not coming back here.

It's been stellar cycles that's for sure.

He stopped at only one coffin that was between the other two he was unfamiliar with and looked at the one who was occupied in the coffin.

The mech who was laid to rest was all gunmetal grey-but the hologram and the name was enough for the scientist to know who was in the coffin.

"Drift." was the only word that came out in his monotonous voice. It lacked an emotion and Perceptor paused to look at the hologram again.

"Drift." He said again, but the voice still remained monotonous-still lacking the emotion.

Perceptor then said nothing as he tried to search the emotion through his body.

Only to get nothing.

Perceptor struggled a little. He doesn't understand, why is finding the emotions hard? Does it have to go with instinct? He doesn't know.

He then felt something warm trickle down his faceplate. He was confused-he's still inside and he felt a foreign liquid falling down on his faceplate.

He felt his cheek to find the source only to move the servo back to see a warm liquid sitting on his fingertip.

"Tears...?" he wondered

How long had it been since he had cried?

Perceptor doesn't know but there was only one thing he understood.

He had felt Sadness and a heavy tug in his spark that brought it down to his gasket.

* * *

_"You win," Whelljack said, "but you will soon regret it."_


End file.
